I wanted to write this post after experiencing “self care burnout.”
How can you burn out from face masks, massages and treat yo’self moments? Well, its super fun, but also exhausting because I kept thinking ‘maybe this yoga retreat will fix me?’ Maybe after I reduce my stress, eat better, work out more, get a facial, meditate…. you name it! I did it!
But I found that I was creating this giant list of self care “to do” items which was actually stressing me out more. What I actually needed was the rest. That’s it. Just rest and turn my brain off from the “shoulds” and “should nots.” That is actually what I needed in those moments.
So, what exactly is selfcare? Jen Gotch defined selfcare as, (I paraphrase here) “doing what is best for you in that particular moment.” Asking yourself, what is best for me at this moment? What is best for me this morning? Later tonight? How can you set yourself up for success and achieve your goals while you continue to work through your difficult past?
Sometimes, just waking up is hard enough. I know. So, how can we move forward? I’ve found out that I’m actually a morning person and I get my most productive vibes going between the hours of 10am – 2 pm each day. Now I know that is only a 4 hour window of productive time! But, that’s what I’m working with, so I’ve learned tips and tricks to help me accomplish more beyond those hours. Feeling rested and grounded is a big part of what helps me function. Sometimes I feel rested enough for just 4 hours a day and sometimes I don’t even last the 4 hours!
Self care has been classified as a number of things which include therapy, working out, eating well, meal prepping, walking or biking instead of driving, spa visits, yoga, drinking more water, meditation, facemasks, facials, nail and hair care, stretching, chanting, singing, dancing, energy work, breathwork and more.
All the things I just listed are amazing! (I would live in a spa, if they would let me.) But, true self care is doing what you need to do to move forward in your life. If spa trips or even home spa treatments make you feel like you’re living your best life and moving forward to better self esteem – then do more of them! But if you are wearing your facemask and you continue to text your toxic ex or friend – then this isn’t really selfcare.
You can go to all the therapy sessions in the world (and I highly recommend this as the most effective form of selfcare) but if you don’t choose to love yourself and make better decisions for your life, like leaving an abusive relationship or putting yourself on a budget so you aren’t stressed about debt, then therapy isn’t going to help you. You have to take actions to stop the damaging behaviors that are keeping you stuck in the same toxic situations and same energies.
I believe our goal is to live our truest life so we can feel more at peace.
Does changing fundamental things in your life like budgets, relationships, careers and apartments cause stress and initial heartache? YES. But if you can find the courage to step forward into a new energy, a new space, a new perspective – you will also find a peace and understanding that you haven’t known before. Sometimes it isn’t necessarily that you have to leave someone or someplace. You might just need a new perspective or routine that sets you up for the success that you want and deserve.
Please read that again. You don’t always have to start over or move or completely change your life in order to find peace and success. Please note that if your situation involves any kind of abuse then you should leave. Only you can know if leaving, moving or changing is what you need. I would say, try changing your perspective first and then if you still can’t shake that inner knowing or a constant yearning for something different, then you know it’s time to make a bigger move.
You are the self care master of your destiny. You can create a life you love, one day and one step at a time. It doesn’t have to be all at once and it doesn’t have to be today, but what is one step you can take towards ‘future you’?
Journal prompt:
What is one step you can take today to move yourself towards the relationship you want (this can be with a S.O., mother, father, sister, brother, anyone)?
Please let me know what self care practices have helped you realize the actual healing that needed to be done in your life.
Every person is different, so maybe one form of training or self care works best for you and the below work best for me. I want to recommend the below because I know these work for me and I’ve seen them make significant changes in others as well. I would highly recommend:
- Breathwork: Check out Molly Rose Yoga on IG
- Meditation: This can be classic meditation in any form or I personally like to follow and listen to sessions with Marisa Peer (RTT) and Maria Borghoff (Yoga Nidra).
- Physical movement: finding a movement activity that you enjoy to keep you moving each day. I personally like yoga, walking and dance classes.
- Therapy: Talk therapy has been truly beneficial for me as I worked through my childhood and adult trauma. I understand this particular form of therapy can be expensive, so please know that you should do what is right for you in your particular situation.
I want to hear from you friend! If you have any feedback on the best self care practices you’ve found, please email me at Stacie@hellopinksage.com or find me on IG: @thepinksage